Abandoned Water
by applesoveroranges
Summary: After Soujirou's defeat, he forgets everything who he is and what he's done. A young girls finds him and they embark on a journey of selfdiscovery. But as soon as his past comes back to haunt him, will he lose it or follow Himura?
1. Prologue: Abandoned Waters

Disclaimer: I respectfully use characters from Rurouni Kenshin without permission. I DON'T OWN Rurouni Kenshin.

First fic about Soujirou. Actually first fic about this anime. Hope you like it, the idea was really appealing in my head. All I have to do is get my creative juices flow'n -u-

* * *

Prologue. Abandoned Waters. 

Defeated.

Defeated by the first man who gave him some sense in his life. He was learning a little too late, fate has already taken its part. All he had was himself…starting over wasn't always easy.

Shishio-sama always took care of him, teaching him how to use his god-given skills in battle. All he has learned from Shishio, was only to fulfill the requirement of, _Only the strong will live, the weak must die… _He had been following a false system.

But…but was leaving the Juppongatana, without consent, the right decision made? Of course, Himura showed him the truth behind Shishio's philosophy. He wanted to change, didn't he? He didn't want to kill in the first place, it wasn't necessary. So why has it taken him so many years, to realize his doubts?

Soujirou stumbled over a rock. His senses were impaired at the moment; he caught himself deeply thinking, wondering what life wanted out of him, what else it could do to make him less of a murderer.

A river.

Soujirou was familiar with it. He walked over to the stone pathway above the water, and leaned forward; it was a particularly beautiful scene. The moonlit waters reflected in his eyes, and fascinated the young boy. Water was so flexible, so unrestricted, so free…

A tear drop spilled from his wide eye and into the river, _I want to be like water…to be free…_

* * *

I encourage you to go on... 


	2. Chapter 1: The Girl Who Found Misery

Chapter one. The Girl Who Found Misery.

"Unreliable bitch!" the man threw a food tray at the girl, "I told you to bring back sake, and you come back to me with empty hands! Kuso!"

"We…we have no more in the house." She mumbled quietly.

"Bullshit!" the angry man flipped over the table and furiously pointed his thick finger at her, "Ingrate! After all I've done for you, this is how you treat me!"

She tried hard to hold her surging tears back, but couldn't help the emotion, "I…I…no more…can't." she produced quick gasps in between words, "I'm not…not…"

"Not what? Haha! Say it! Tell me what you're not!"

"Mm." the girl gritted her teeth, "In-ingrate…"

"Shut up!" he screamed at her, "Don't tell me what you are or are not! I'll tell you who you are and you better play your part in this family or else!" The girl started to sob loudly, uncontrollable tears sprung out openly. "Teme! Get out of my sight before it beat you to death!"

The girl flungherself around, and startedto run away from theplace filled with terrible memories. Sheran through the rice fields and onto open ground, controlling her pace.

"Why? ...Why?" she cried as she stopped to get on her knees, "Have I done something so wrong…? Must god punish me through my family?"

Was she spoiled too much with affection? Life was so perfect before all the madness started to happen. Her family was always there for her… But ever since the death of her parents, the barbaric man, who she is shamed to call uncle, took over the family, fortune, and estate. All her other three male siblings died right after her parents. As much as he denies it, it was her uncle that fed poison to her little brothers. She was the only one kept alive to cook, clean, andsow around the house.

On some days, she wished to die. Each passing moment her will power grows weaker and weaker, almost to the point of suicide. If only she could run away… She could, but with her emotions in the way, the thought was hopeless.

The girl looked up ahead; she heard running waters and saw a bridge above it. Provoked, the girl headed for the passage.

She remembered one time, when she and her father were on their way to his friend's home. They stopped by the river, and he'd tell her a story about it; a moral and myth of how it came to be. It was about a little girl named Katsumi, who one day gave into a beast's offer to take some food from a ditch on the ground. Ignoring her conscious, everyday she took a little until the food was almost gone. Then one day, Katsumi took the last crumb of food, and then water sprouted from the hole. It rose from the ground immediately and flooded everyone's homes. The food wasn't worth it at that price, it was tempting, but it ruined her life… Otousan told her never to give in to the demon. Somtimes the demon takes some of your good consious, but one must fight back to gain control, and true happiness...

The good memories never fade, unfortunately, the bad ones don't either. How would her father look at her now? A girl who wants to give up life and everything he's taught her.

She looked down at the sparkling water, and wondered if life was really worth it if it wasn't going to change. No doubt, she was going to work for the rest of her life for that monster, compassionless for humanity, and cruel both ways.

"I am weak." She said, "Why can't I be strong? I can't defend myself, I can't help but cry."

She watched the current go. Then something caught her sight…If she wasn't mistaken, there was a shoe being carried of by the water. The girl went to investigate what was under the bridge, or possibly a who. And to her surprise, there was a boy wearing blue lying on his chest, half of his body was in the water. She rushed down the slopes to check on him. Hesitant to touch him, the girl first tried to communicate, "Sir, sir? Are you alright? Hello? Sir?"

Soujirou grunted and opened his eyes, the first thing he could do was smile, the river was still in his sight. The girl help him up, though he hadn't faced her, he heard his response and immediately reacted, "Are you okay? What happened?" Soujirou sat leaning on the stone wall, and looked at her. She faltered, he was so handsome, and that made her hesitate, "H-hello, my name is Hyashida Kikari, douzo."

Soujirou watched her for a while, Why does she look so familiar? "You're- uhm." He squinted at the sudden pain in his head, and tilted his head backwards.

"Sir? Sir! Are you alright? Sir!" Kikari shook him gently, but with no positive results.

Soujirou could only think of a river, and a sad, lost boy…


	3. Chapter 2: Futami

Chapter two. Futami.

"Yare yare…" Kikari sighed, "Such a beautiful face." She said as she was cleansing his face of dirt, sweat, and dried blood, "Where did you come from?" she asked, knowing he wouldn't respond, "Who are you?"

_Who am I? Shouldn't you know…?_ He thought, half conscious, as if trying to communicate through mind.

"What were you doing by the river? Fishing?" she giggled.

"…No…" he responded softly, "I don't know."Soujirou's eyes rolled open, to see the river once again, flowing by ever so gently.

"Oya, you're awake." She said, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine…" Soujirou smiled, "Domo, but…a little weak."

"Ano…is there anything you'd like me the get for you?"

"Iie…" he looked kindly at her. Kikari's heart warmed, "Thank you though."

She got off the ground and dusted her kimono, "I should get you some water though, you won't get any better with a head injury like that."

"Head injury?" Soujirou hadn't felt the pain until she mentioned it. He touched his skull to clarify if it was really there.

Kikari smiled, "What's your name?"

Soujirou paused, _My name…?_

She looked strangely at him,"You do have a name don't you?"

"I…I…can't." Soujirou looked hard for the answer, but nothing came to mind, "I can't…remember."

"Can't remember?" she frowned, "why not?"

Soujirou shook his head, "I don't know…"

There was nothing to feel but concern and sympathy for Soujirou. Kikari helped him up, and led him through the fields.

* * *

The rain fell hard, thunder struck down on the village, but winds were calm, "Get him!" he heard a man shout. Out of instinct, he started running, running towards the darkness, and finding no answer. 

"Why are you doing this?" he asked. They gave him no answer. Then, in front of him, appeared a wakizashi, "What's the meaning of this…?"

The others came closer and closer, _Do it_. A familiar voice told him.

"No, I can't…" Do it. "I Can't!" Do it! "NO!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Ooi! Calm down, shh…" Kikari hushed, "you had a nightmare, it's alright."

Soujirou was drenched in sweat and panting heavily, "It was…so horrible."

"Nightmares are like that, there's nothing bad right now." She held his shoulders, and smiled, "Relax, I'm here." He stared directly into her affectionate eyes, feeling safe for some reason. He'd only kown her for a a few hours, yet she trusted him so..._easily_, "Now, I need you to be a little more quiet, myjisan can't know you're here in the store house or else-"

He waited for her to finish, "Or else what?"

"…ano, he'll get mad." Kikari reassured him with a beam, "I don't want to get in of sort of trouble."

"Iya."

Kikari looked sadly away for a while, to regain confidence and emotional control.She managed to smile again, but it was a sad smile, "You better get some rest, it'll do you much good."

"Ee." Soujirou lied back down and took a deep breath.

She looked back at him before she left, "Is it alright if I call you…Futami? Since you don't remember your name?"

Soujirou simply nodded, and fell back to sleep.

* * *

Just when Soujirou was about to drift off, he heard yelling and the breaking of glass. He sat up and felt a little uncertain without Kikari there. Soujirou slipped out of the store house and went towards the source of pandemonium. There was light in one of the rooms and a shadow of a large man. 

"What were you doing all this time? Sleeping? Food isn't going to cook itself! You're no good!" Kikari fell out and rolled onto the dirt. Soujirou tensed, paralyzed by what he saw.

"What good are you if you don't do anything! I should've killed you when I had the chance baita!" her uncle grabbed her by the collar, and got ready to beat on her. He narrowed his eyes and grinned, "Though, no one would know what happened to you before the murder right?"

"Yamete!" Soujirou cried.

"Who the hell are you? What are you doing on my property?" he spat.

"It's…it's…not your property." Kikari murmured.

"What? Shut up!" he threw her aside, "After I deal with this friend of yours, there will be no stopping me!"

Soujirou stared widely him, smiling a little. "Futami!" she cried at the sight before her. In a quick movement, more than what the human eye can see, Soujirou attacked him with a wooden rod, "Futami…"

"Y-you…teme…" The large man uttered before falling to the ground face down.

Soujirou stared at his body wide eyed, "How…?"

"Futami!" Kikari called again. She struggled up and took his arm, "Saa saa! We must go!"

* * *

A/N: Good lord Futami sounds like a female name, but it means forked road or river. Makes sense right? Well, not much action going on right now, but it'll get interesting as Sou-chan finds out more! 

And if you don't know Japanese:

Yare yare: Expression of disappointment.

Oya: Oh

Domo: Thanks(informal)

Ano: Well…; let me see…

Iie: No

Wakizashi: Short sword.

Ooi: Hey

Iya: Yes

Ee: Yes

Baita: bitch

Yamete: Stop

Teme: Fucker

Saa saa: Come on; come now.


	4. Chapter 3: Ignorance is Bliss

A/N: I don't know if readers want any romance in here…NOT Kikari and Soujirou together, but romance in general…?

* * *

Chapter 3. "Ignorance is Bliss…" 

They sat apart in silence. The dark sky made angry roars and thunder was waiting to strike down to earth and it's inhabitors. The streets were empty of people, no one would dare stay outside where thunder threathened and rain fell cold.

Soujirou looked to Kikari, like a child who broke mother's china sets, "Gomen nasai."

Her face was hidden behind folded arms, and her head was burrowed into her knees, "…For what?" she mumbled.

"For causing you trouble." he said.

"Iie…it's alright." She looked up at him and smiled, "I don't mind."

Being abused and tortured, yet shadowing every emotion felt behind a smile, it reminded Soujirou of much. He wondered why he had to smile like so too.

It was getting cold as evening faded to night. She rubbed her shoulders and hoped for a better weather. "Here." He handed her his blue kimono, "…It'll keep you warm."

Kikari accepted it with a nod and threw it over her shoulders, "You are kind."

"Arigatou." He leaned against the stone wall under the bridge, "Again, I am sorry. Where are you going to go now? I didn't mean to cause you so much trouble…"

"Futami, it's alright. I don't know where, but I'll think of something." She assured him false hope. Now that she made her jisan mad, he'll never take her back, he'd kill her. But somehow, being with Futami made everything better.

"Where ever you're going, may I come with you? I haven't a clue what I'm doing…I don't even know who I am." Soujirou sighed, "But I have a feeling, that I don't want to know who I was…"

"I know I wouldn't want to…In a sense, Futami, you don't know how lucky you are, to forget everything, not having to take painful memories with you."

"Kikari." He called for the first time, "I understand…I know how you feel-"Soujirou paused, "…I…know you feel."

Kikari smiled, "You must've gotten used to it…Not like me. I am weak."

"Hold on, and you'll make it."

"I understand," she turned away, "but sadly…the world doesn't work that way. The weak die easily, but the strong live."

"The weak die easily, but the strong live." He repeated.

"And it isn't going to change anytime soon…" she sighed.

"The weak die…the strong live…" Soujirou closed his eyes, "The _strong_ will live...and the _weak _must die…"

She glanced at him, "Futami?"

"Yes…?"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes…it is."

* * *

What she had in her hands was a soft cotton and acrylic fabric. It was warm and comfortable so she rubbed her checks against it. The rising sun warmed her back, the birds began to chirp and crickets stopped composing. Kikari awoke to find the running river as calm as it could ever be.

She lifted her head up to see Soujirou staring at the river also, "Oya! Sumimasen I…I didn't mean to lean on you."

"No problem."

Kikari blushed and dusted his kimono. She sheepishly smiled and said, "Saa, It's better if we get going, at least before my jisan wakes up. If he finds us here, then…Saa. Never mind that."

* * *

As usual, the bazaar was crowded and stuffy, especially on a hot day like this. 

Kikari took the opportunity to commune, "How are you? Feeling better?"

"Sou desu." He smiled.

"I'm glad then."

They walked through together in the thick crowds and bargain hungry sales people. Kikari clutched onto the sleeve of his kimono afraid to get lost. She felt protected although it was a silly thought. She never felt so shy towards a boy before, let alone such a handsome boy. 

"The latest news!" a man yelled, "Extra extra! Come get the latest news! The jupongatana's downfall and Makoto Shishio's end!"

"Shishio?" Soujirou stopped dead in his tracks.

* * *

"No, I'm sorry Ma'a- I mean, sir. Sumimasen. But we can't repair such a…an uncommon weapon." The blacksmith placed the blade on the counter. 

"Sou ka…Well then, Thank you for trying anyway." He took his belongings and left the store, _I wonder if I'll ever use it again anyway…_ He knew he was running into false hope, but not all of him believed it was really over.

"Extra extra! Come get the latest news! The jupongatana's downfall and Makoto Shishio's end!" An advertising man yelled.

_Shishio-sama…I'll never forget you._

"May I have one of those? Please?" A boy asked.

Instantly, Honjou turned around to see for himself, if it really was who he heard, "Soujirou-san."

* * *

Excuse my procrasination. I was in a rush, I have a project due tomorrow and so I had to rush this chapter before i go to bed. 


	5. Chapter 4: Kamatari’s Admonition

I probably won't have time to update everynight so...this is just a coincidence that I am so far. > T-T

* * *

Chapter 4. Kamatari's Admonition 

"Soujirou-san!" Honjou called out through the rowdy crowds.

"Soujirou?" Soujirou looked at him, "Who is…"

"You're still here!" Honjou excited, seeing his comrade, "I thought you have left Kyoto."

"Who…are you?" Soujirou asked.

"Nani?" Honjou's overjoyed expression faded, "Who am I? No…how could you-…Are you so low and ashamed of us, that you act as though you don't know me!" he shouted with anger.

"Shizuka kudasai…s-sir." Kikari stepped forward, "Do you really know this person?"

Honjou glared at the opposite sex, "Who is she…Why is she with you Soujirou-san?"

"Please sir, "Kikari interrupted again, "He doesn't remember anything as of yesterday. He has forgotten everything, even his name."

"You are lying!" he hissed.

"Believe it or not, but…your Soujirou, has gone. It may take a few days or weeks, for him to remember."

Honjou turned to Soujirou for further evidence, "Soujirou-san, you know nothing of me?"

"…I can't. I can't remember." He depressingly said. Soujirou shut his eyes tightly and flexed his jaw, "I don't want to."

"What…? Why not? Do you want to forget about us, about Shishio-sama?"

"Don't be too harsh on him, doesn't know anyone." Kikari said.

Honjou narrowed his eyes at her, "You keep your place miss, don't interrupt me."

"But-…Soujirou…is confused now, he knows no better than you."...

The name Soujirou sounded too familiar to him. The name had been used in the most pitiful sentences. "Soujirou…" he repeated the name. Was it really his name? It was known for something, but he didn't know what. _Soujirou_…Soujirou was a boy, a young boy who's finding something, somewhere, someone…_Soujirou. He's…_"Soujirou……is me."

* * *

"S-Soujirou…" Kikari bashfully came into the room. It was small room, but much well enough considering that the owner donated it to them for the next few nights. 

He slightly turned his head towards her, but without facing each other, "Don't…please don't call me that."

Kikari felt terrible, the day had been long and hard for the two of them, "I've brought, some dinner for us." She set down two food tray and rice bowls, "Douzo."

"I don't have much of an appetite now." He said, "Gomen."

"Ano…Whenever you're hungry then." She quietly sat down and picked up the bowl of rice. Honestly, Kikari was not that hungry either. She hadn't eaten for a day and half, but the events of today ran through her head like a broken record. _Soujirou…Why do you have to be Seta Soujirou?_ She tightly held onto her chopsticks and swallowed. _You were well off being Futami, why?_

"Kikari-san…Why are sad?" he suddenly asked. He knew how she felt, he sensed her emotion.

She forced her lips to curve upward, "I'm not S-…Futami. Deha, the day has just been too overwhelming for me, that's all."

"Sou desu ka…Jaa, a good night's rest should help then, ne?" he smiled at her.

"Of course it would." She started consuming her meal, _Of course…

* * *

_

"But-…Soujirou…is confused now, he knows no better than you."

Honjou pursed his lips to pause moment, "Tell me…"

"My name,Hyashida Kikari desu."

"Hm, Tell me Hyashida-san…How well do you know Soujirou-san?"

"I...I know him, as well as he knows himself now."

Honjou leaned forward to whisper, "Let me tell you something about Soujirou-san…Soujirou-san would never betray us. He his Seta Soujirou of the Jupongatana… He is the Tenken, and when he remembers all of himself, he'll leave you; there would be no point of your care and affection. So don't bother Kikari-san." Honjou stood upright again, " And I, I am Kamatari Honjou, the scythe. And I am telling you to stop wasting your breath, time, and energy on Soujirou-san. Your efforts won't be as appreciated as you'd like to think." Honjou faced the day dreaming Soujirou and smirked, "Soujirou-san, when you realize who you are, come find me."

* * *

He is Seta Soujirou the Tenken of the jupongatana, one of the ten swords leading Makoto Shishio's revolution. He has made bloodshed among innocent people, and he has done shoddily things to mankind. 

But…

But I don't want him to be Soujirou…I want him to be Futami. They are the same people…But if he begins a new life, he won't have to go back to those things…ne?

The moonlight shone through the screen doors. She turned her head to see Soujirou fairly smiling while in his sleep. Handsome, strong, and kind. I won't ever find someone like you…ever…

"Kikari-chan?" Soujirou called. Chan? Was this a dream of some sort…? He called to her so lovingly…Why did he?

"Ui?"

"…I can't sleep…"

"Sou ka…Why not?"

"I've been thinking too much." Soujirou opened his deep blue eyes as clear as day, and frowned, "If I remember everything again…Are you going to leave me…?"

* * *

Vocab you need to know: 

Ne: right?

Douzo: …Hard to explain, um…it could mean. Please go ahead; Please take it; Please treat me well; Please go on: A lot of please do this and that, it's complicated -.-

Shizuka Kudasai: Please be quiet.

Sou desu ka: Is that so?

Jaa: Well; Well then; Then;(Or even _see ya!_ in other cases)

Deha: Well

Eeto: Well

Muhaha, I'm taking Japanese right now, that's the reason I know a lot of Japanese if you were curious.


	6. Chapter 5: The Thing of the Past

Chapter 5. The Thing of the Past

It brought a smile to her face, "…Would you want me to stay?"

Soujirou nodded, "Ixesu."

"…Then, I can't ever leave."

The summer crickets started their symphony and the trees rustled gently against the breeze. Sleep was easier to achieve once peace was in their minds. Though, not for long, "Soujirou…" a small voice whispered, "Soujirou-san." Was it a dream? Who could be calling for him in the middle of the night? No, it wasn't a dream; he mentally pinched himself when the screen door opened. "And so here you are." Honjou smiled as he stepped into their room.

"You… How? Why-What are you doing here?" Soujirou whispered, careful not to wake Kikari.

"I came to give you this." Honjou unwrapped a shaft covered in cloth like a banana. Wide eyed, Soujirou stared at the weapon he was most familiar with, the katana, "Take it, and use it."

"I...I can't I-"

"Shhh…" Soujirou was silenced by a finger at his lips, "Do what you've always done Soujirou-san." Honjou teasingly withdrew his finger, and gave a sly grin before he hopped off the balcony.

* * *

"Tatakiokosu Kikari."Soujirou shook her shoulder lightly. 

"Uun. Why?" she groaned, "But it's so…so early."

Soujirou laughed a little, oh how light hearted he looked…"Early? It's almost noon Kikari-chan."

"Hiru! How? Yare, I must get up." Kikari hustled out of the bedding and started to untie her ponytail.

"Kikari-chan, why do you have to wake up? Is there something you wanted to do? Somewhere to go?" Soujirou asked.

She stopped knotting her hair, and gaped at him. _Why do I have to?_ "I don't know…I'm too used to getting up early." She replied solemnly, and then smiled to herself, "Good question, I don't know where to go…"

Soujirou walked to her, "Then, what now?"

"…Hm, Dore…" A light clicked in her mind, "Futami, have you ever considered traveling?"

0 0 0 0 0

"Ize, here's the plan; I go work as a waitress for the day, and I know that there is an old ojiisan up the Nuriji Hills. He grows white leaves so he can sell them to a pharmacist doctor. Ojiisan gives about ten ¥ per package delivered. I've tried helping him once, but I can't carry that much at a time, and the doctor's office is about three fourth's of a mile's walk taking the shortcut through the forest." Kikari gazed at Soujirou with eager eyes, "Can you do that Futami? I can understand if you don't want to work, it'll just take longer for us to get those tickets."

"Don't be silly Kikari-chan, of course I can do it." Soujirou assured her with a smile.

* * *

"How can I hide from her like this? After all she's done…treating me with kindness." Soujirou spoke to himself, observing the katana Honjou gave him yesterday night, "I have to tell her. I can't possible carry a weapon like this…though; it feels so familiar in my hands." _And that Honjou person…How could I have known him?_

"Yamade, Chiisa douji.(Stop, little child boy)" A sudden voice that surprised Soujirou a bit. A tall man stepped from behind a tree, "And where might you be heading?"

"I…I am delivering for an old man…" Soujirou responded quite bashfully.

"White leaves? How rare!" He exclaimed with a grin wide enough to cover his face. An ugly man indeed, he was skinny, but he had a wide face, "Give them to me douji!"

"N-no!" Soujirou hugged the sack of leaves protectively.

The man's expression grew angry, "Bakayarou! I've been waiting for hours for a person to come by here, don't disappoint me douji! I need them white leaves for some more money." He patted the heavy bag of coins fastened to his belt.

"Stay back!" Soujirou shouted. He didn't know why, but he wasn't afraid as he should be, "I'll hurt you!"

"Hurt me?" the man burst out in laughter, "Don't be a fool douji! I'm an old ronin, experienced and fearless, now give them to me!"

"A ronin huh?" Soujirou smiled, "Well, usually ronins only wander, they don't steal from people to disgrace their honor."

"Shikan! Stop smiling like that! What's the matter with you?"

"Smiling?" Soujirou noticed himself, "I am, aren't I…?"

The man placed his hand on his katana handle, "Okkuu! Give them to me NOW!"

"Please mister, I'm only delivering these-" There was no time for Soujirou to finish his words, the man had begun to draw his sword to attack him. _I can do it. I can- I know how! I have to!_ Soujirou screamed as loud as his lungs would allow, and summoned his hidden strength to counter the man's blow.

They froze in their positions, like statues. Soujirou was overcome by his power; he felt a recognizable ability come back to him…the ability to _kill_. He turned back to stare at the frozen man with no pupil eyes. Slowly, a red line started to seep through his clothing, and ran along sideways on his stomach. When the line divided him perfectly in half, the upper body fell heavily onto the ground, creating a mist of dust.

Soujirou stared at the dead body, at his face. What has he done? And why doesn't he feel any…_guilt_ for it?

* * *

"Futami…" Kikari desperately waited outside the restaurant, "It is late evening…why aren't you back? ...Maybe I shouldn't have…urged him." 

"Kikari-chan…" Soujirou called out. _I…have to tell someone, Kikari…I must tell her. But…_

"Futami! Oya! I've been so worried about you!" The first thing Kikari noticed was a bag of money, it seemed, "Oyamaa! Futami, where did you get so much money?"

"I…I…" Soujirou tilted his head down, and looked at her, "I recieved them, from Ojiisan."

* * *

Gasp! Souji-chan is LYING! 

Vocab time!

Ixesu: Yes

Tatakiokosu: Wake up

Hiru: Noon time

Dore: Let me see…

Ronin: A samurai class but less honorable

Shikan: Silence

Okkuu: Troublesome; annoying

Oyamaa: Extended version of Oya. Means _goodness gracious!_


	7. Chapter 6: The Thing of Death

I can't rely on microsoft word anymore, I haven't installed it yet. If there are any dramatic mistakes that you can't possible bear unless you kill yourself...then I'll change it. ' u '

NOTICE: I slacked off a little in this chapter, but please do, go on hehe...

* * *

Chapter 6. The Thing of Death.

The moving scenery brushed by too fast, Soujirou couldn't keep his eyes in place. The farming fields, the dome shaped huts, the landscape..., "Oh look Futami-chan, the Hiei mountains...It's beautiful, ne?"

He nodded in approval, "Yes, it is."

"Hm, I wish to go there one day. I've always wondered what it would be like."

"It's...interesting, I imagine."

"Honto ne?" Kikari dropped her head to the side in a dainty manner, "Do you remember going there?"

"Perphaps..." Soujirou looked down from the window, "Maybe I have."

The great machinery came to a ground shaking stop along with massive white smoke. Passengers hopped off the steel stairs and landed on the solid ground of Edo. Soujirou and Kikari were one of the last group of people departing from the train, they had slowly packed; taking their time to gather the last hours of good memories.

Kikari gladly took in the excitement; Edo was the capital, it was the main attraction of Japan. All foreign things imaginable were displayed in this town, and everyone was dressed accordingly to the year. What also sparked her interest, was the rumor that Hitokiri battousai had dwelled in the capital. Though Kikari was always on the shy and cowardly side, she couldn't help but think what kind of person he was now. After years of onslaught and carnage; the man has retired and also fought to save Japan. How _did_ he change? How could the the hitokiri live so tranquil and hospitable in this quiet town?

"Kikari." Soujirou addressed, deciding it's been too long since she'd been staring at the spot on the ground, "Let us go, ne?"

"Hai."

But before a step was even taken, a loud disturbing noise came from the pit of the gut. Soujirou covered his stomach and skittishly laughed, "Well, I guess I am a little hungry now."

Kikari gently covered her lips to hide the humor, "What are we waiting for? Let's find a restauraunt to eat in. With what you've earned, it's more than enough to have thirty meals." His smile grew soft as recollection began; when he committed the sin. The ableness of killing, wasn't wanted, and the guilt, wasn't there. What kind of person _was _he? Did he want to change before his fall?

* * *

"Irasshai mase! Douzo, Please have a seat." The woman with small eyes offered.

Soujirou smiled at her, and took a seat across from Kikari, "We'll have two Tsukimi Udons."

"Right away ma'am." she beamed and rushed off to another customer demanding more sake. They took a while to look around them; decorations were no more simpler than any other, yet the place seemed much more charming

Kikari faced Soujirou, wanting to mention something, "It's almost too real; it's like a dream."

"This place?"

"Everything, Futami. Everything that's happened to us so far. I've always wanted to leave, always wanted to come to Edo, and always wanted to be happy." she touched his hands with hers, and smiled warmly, "Thank you for giving me those things, Futami-chan." He responded with the same smile on his face, making her ponder if he felt the same way she did.

It was abrupt when she felt him, but Soujirou didn't mind; seeing her happy, was more than he wanted at the moment.

"Hai, douzo." A young girl had startled them both even with her soft voice. She bowed slightly and placed their lunch on the table, "Please, enjoy." she bowed the second time, showing her natrual good manners.

"Ooi! Tsubame." a rough voice of a young boy called.

"Oya, Yahiko-san, what can I help you with?"

"Nothing much, I just came by to visit you!"

The little girl smiled, "That is kind of you Yahiko, but now I am a bit busy." she faced Soujirou and Kikari, "Sumimasen, I am sorry for bothering you. My friend comes and goes as he pleases."

Soujirou nodded, "That's alright, no offense is taken." Yahiko flashed them with his childish grin to prove his harmlessness.

"Oya, Tae-san is signaling me again, please wait here Yahiko, I'll be back." He watched as Tsubame scurried off to meet biddings.

Soujirou watched the boy, carefuly studying his affectionate stare, "You are lucky to have a friend such as she."

"Yeah...I am." he replied modestly.

"Maybe," Kikari said, "it will grow into something more someday."

Almost immediately, a red brilliance flustered across his cheeks, "Uh...I...I..." a quiet laugh presented Soujirou, "Well- what about you! Don't you have that?"

Kikari felt the suspense tingle her skin as they waited for Soujirou's answer, "Someday." he said, feeling uneased.

* * *

Kikari watched him from a far, wondering what he meant by _someday_. Never? or soon? May be the whole thing was just foolhardy, about them two having a future together. She was aware, and accepted her liking towards the amnesic boy. It was better that he forgot everything, so he couldn't judge her at first sight. Or was she too selfish? To have him to herself?

Confused, and exhausted from mental exercise, Kikari let him be, and returned inside the old inn. Lamps were lit outside; the skies were getting darker. _'What am I doing here? I don't belong...anywhere_.' Soujirou thought. _'I am...a murderer. Cold hearted; conciousless_.' Gentle waves of light were printed on him as he watched from the bridge. '_I do care for Kikari, does that make me any better? Then, it means...I kill because I have to, because I must, ne? Did I live by that?...No, not likely. If I did, I'd feel bad._' He grasped the hidden katana beneath the cloth, _'But I don't, not at all. This weaponry, in my hands, is unable to leave._'

"Teme! Did you think I wouldn't notice? Come here boy!"

It caught his full attention when an angry man started choking a five year old pick-pocketer. 'Stop him? Even when it's not my business?... but I should, do something right.' "Sumimasen, you shouldn't hurt him like that, he's a only a child."

The man spat in front of him, "It's none of your business boy! Leave it be!"

"Omade Kudasai(Please stop)." Soujirou requested again.

"Don't get involved with me, boy." he warned, refusing to control the anger, "I'm not afraid to hurt anyone."

"Neither am I."

Brown eyes drunk with redness, narrowed towards Soujirou. He let go of the child's neck, who was barely alive. "I'm not in the best of mood now, don't frustrate me any further."

"Gomen, I didn't mean the stress, but I'd just appreciate it if you'd let him go sooner." A wad of spit would've landed on Soujirou's face if he hadn't suspected it earlier, "Please sir, there is no need for childish behavior."

The man's skin reddened as he inhaled deeply, "You take that back! I'll-I'll kill you!"

"Let it be, then. I couldn't care any less than I do." Soujirou gave one final smile and turned away to the inn. Nobody can turn away from him, nobody. Pride and wrath stirred in his mind to create revenge, and his revenge took action. The man clenched his fists full of veins...

* * *

"You are back, so soon?" Kikari watched Soujirou come in, soundlessly as if she were already asleep.

"Hai, it is getting darker." he spread his lips,_ I had to... _"There are many troubles at night." _I knew I had to..._

"Wakarimasu."

Suddenly, a distant scream echoed across their room; a woman's voice rang down the quiet streets, crying for help, "Oh dear, what was that?" Kikari femininely rushed out the door to the commotion. The sight she found had scarred her youthful eyes, and plauged her mind with nightmares to come. Flesh, bared to the bone, laid in pieces, drowned in a pool of deep red. Kikari was trembled by corruption, unable to take fearful blue eyes off the fresh carcass. She couldn't be saved, not from the vision of death. It's replacment for comfort was only him, "Fu-Futami!"

"I couldn't contorl it..." he whispered to the night, "I had to..."

* * *

Vocab(Short): There'd probably be no more vocab later, I gave it all away )

Irasshai mase: Oh man, I think I spelled the romaji wrong or something...but anyway...it means welcome(formal)

Wakarimasu: I know(respectfully.)


	8. Chapter 7: The Past and the Death of Inn...

Chapter 7. The Past and the Death of Innocence

The image shattered the last bit of happiness she had earned since the departure. It was a mistake to see blood; she wasn't supposed to be the one, to see blood. "Iya…" She gasped, suddenly feeling her throat clogged. Discomfort traveled from the stomach to the lungs, telling her body to let go. But Kikari refused, holding her mouth, and resisting the physical will to expose digested food. Maybe the lack of experience, and the contribution of the disgust, made her feels this way.

Soujirou exited the inn, and paused at his victim's body. "Futami…" She took all of what ever comfort he gave her, and thought it as a cure; but there was no such thing as infamy's remedy. "Futami." She said again, holding onto his western clothes.

Both hands landed on her back, accepting the offer to comfort, "Such a shame…" he said, almost unheard.

"I'm scared…I'm scared, Futami-chan."

"Don't be, I'm with you."

Kikari loosened her grip on him, reopening glossy blue orbs to let out the heavy tears. "I can't get it out of my head, It's hard." Soujirou made a few more strokes on her back, trying to relate, but could not.

He tried to comfort her, but upsettingly, it wasn't what she had expected. The usual calmness stayed with him; there was no excitement, nor one hint of shock in his voice. Again, this mysterious boy by the river, amused her with his actions. There was so much she didn't know about him, she told herself. _I had so much trust in him. But now, it seems that trust is…slowly fading._ Futami was-…remembering.

Kikari respectfully stepped aside from him, letting the gory mess be in his range; and yet…no surprise in his emotion. _I don't understand... _Instead of a normal reaction, she had seen him, actually, smile a bit. _What's wrong with him? Has he lost sense_? He was just, remembering…remembering about himself, about Seta Soujirou. That name hadn't been recalled since the train ride.

So, Seta Soujirou was a happy inhumane boy?

It made no sense- None of it did. How could someone be happy, taking other lives?

Kikari couldn't believe it; there was a small suspicion about Soujirou, but she couldn't believe he did it. He could never, he was not armed. Only a sharp blade could create such a massacre.

"No…no, no. No." The woman repeated, cradling the head of a dead man, "Who did this to you ani? Dare(who)?...No…no."

"For what happened to your oniisan, Gomen nasai." Soujirou bowed to respect her loss, "I hope that he will rest easy afterlife."

_No… Futami couldn't. He is not Soujirou; he is kind and respectful. He couldn't have done this.

* * *

_

The river shinned in its glory with the sun's blinding light. It had shone upon every being passing across the wide bridge. All was marveled by the clear day and glass waters. All except Kikari, standing alone against the stone rails, trapped in deep thought. _Young man…a handsome young man. You've only been deceived, he is not only a just a boy. He is innocent! He is not, he killed someone! I don't know that, no one knows! He couldn't have done it! But he HAS before! _The ongoing battle against herself went on for an hour. One part wanted to accept who he was, and the other; wanted to _run_ from him. "Seta Soujirou…"

"That name…" Soujirou quickly gained a smile, "I told you not to call me that, Kikari-chan."

"Sou- Futami. I didn't realize you were behind me." She was unsure. Kikari was so engulfed by her thinking, she didn't know whether she spoke out loud or not, "How long were you there?"

"Long enough, doushite?(why?)"

Kikari shook her head, "Nani mo (nothing), just startled."

He looked at her as if he sensed the mistrust, "Oh. Jaa," he laughed merrily, "Is there somewhere you wanted to go? The day's not over yet."

Kikari coiled a thick strand of her dark-maroon hair, and replied, "Nowhere in particular. But, it would be nice to take a walk around the city, ne?"

"Of course." Soujirou offered his arm to her, foreign-like, "Shall we? Douzo."

"Eeto. What a gentleman." Kikari smiled.

- - - - - - - - - - -

As they both walked, arm to arm, neither spoke, for they were in their own space, thinking. Kikari's fear emptied, this was the boy she knew and adored, not the stone-hearted one; not the killer. He always made her blush inside, it was only this time she made it physical.

Soujirou took notice, "Something wrong? Is the sun too hot for you?"

"Iie, Zenzen.(No, not at all)." She turned away, hoping he wouldn't note again. Her face was getting deeply colored. It was a good thing that there were no people walking the opposite direction, or that would've been much more embarrassing. Just imagine, someone pulling you over to say that you have a red face.

Kikari was lucky so far, until then. A group of three people; a tall man, and two women wearing matching outfits for god knows what. The two women were chit-chatting about something so intently, while the middle man seemed neutral. He had his eyes closed, meditating while he was walking.

Once they were in sight, Soujirou stopped. _That man…_

"Iya, that was sudden. How could they just leave like that?" The woman with her hair in a bun asked the other.

The one with the long hair shrugged, "I really don't know, Omasu. We really shouldn't have come if we knew this would happen. Them going to Kyoto and us to Edo? This trip is pointless."

"Hm, I hope everything is okay. Genzai-sensei said it was urgent, I really hope it's not one of those 'Revolution' situations again. Good lord, I _know _I don't want to go through _that_ again."

"Well, if it is, we must help them." The mature looking one said.

"I don't think you should get into other's business if not necessary." The man butt in, he finally spoke.

_I know I have, I know him._

"Aoshi-sama."

_Aoshi?_

"Don't be too stiff. If they need help, We'll help Ke-."

"Sumimasen." The three travelers acknowledged the boy, standing in their way, "I heard…"

Aoshi gapped thoroughly at him, making sure that his eyes had not deceived him beyond sanity, "Seta?"

Kikari wondered more about Soujirou; who he knew, who he liked, and who he hated. This man was another one of his past-time acquaintances, was he a juppongatana member too? The thought made her fear. It was hypocritical; If Soujirou was too, why had she stood so close to him when she knew? Not only because he did not remember…

His frown indicated true emotion, and how important this, Aoshi was, "You know me. Who are you?"

Aoshi narrowed his jade colored eyes, "What game are you playing, Seta?"

Soujirou shook his head, "Iie, Kaisen shimasen (No, Not playing a game). I don't remember. But, who are you?"

"Don't remember," he scoffed silently, "That is a pathetic excuse for a swordsman. Tell me now, Seta, what is it that you're doing here, in Edo?"

Soujirou furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, though with semi-understanding, "Swordsman?"_ I was…a swordsman. I was a killer. I…liked killing?_

_Futami is a swordsman… That means he could've done… _Kikari clenched her fists and shut her eyes tight. _NO! He was unarmed. He was, unarmed. I can't be._

"Aoshi-sama…" The long haired girl stared worriedly at him.

He ignored her plea, "What is the matter? Have you decided to forget all else after you defeat?"

"Nani?" Soujirou stepped back, "I-I don't know. What are you talking about?"

Seeing that Seta's usual, happy-go-lucky expression go, Aoshi knew for sure that the boy really hadn't recalled anything. Soujirou wasn't joshing. "You really have."

"Please, Aoshi-san. What do you mean defeat? I don't understand!" He, almost desperately, cried.

"Your defeat, at Mount Hiei. In Shishio's corridors. You fought the Battousai." The name rolled out of Aoshi's mouth casually, "Hitokiri Battousai."

…_Hitokiri…? Battousai?_ His mouth hung loose. His emotion turned into fear and shock rather than confusion. The name. He remembered the name. "...Kenshin…...Himura-san."

* * *

Hope you liked it; it's getting pretty tense. I didn't spend as much time as I should on it, though. I will! 


	9. Chapter 8: To let go

Chapter 8. To let go.

"_Himura arrives at Kyoto. If you wish to meet him, go soon."_

Kyoto…_meet_ him…soon. Answers were needed. The growing frustration wouldn't stop until his answers were had.

The annoyed feeling came to him again; like when he fought Kenshin. Focus was out of reach and oblivion took over. Soujirou clutched his head while sitting on the polished wooden floor; against a shadowed corner with his thoughts. _Alone_. The abandoned child, just like when she found him by the river. The child screamed and shouted his cries to the man named Himura, the battousai. He had convincing skills hidden away behind such a deceptive smile, was that why he fell? Because of his loss to Himura, he couldn't take such shame. Or did Soujirou realize what he's become, and attempt to take his own life for the ones he'd slain.

"Soujirou…"

"Stop it." He ordered.

"But-"

"I said stop it!" he repeated, yelling and heavy with rage, "Don't call me that."

The small girl welled her tears though she refused to; she wanted to take control of his comfort, "Doushite! Why are you like this when I mention this name? Let me help you!"

"Stop it. No one can help me."

"IIE!"

He faced her, eyes burning with mindless fire, "Hottoitekure. (Back off/leave me alone.)"

Kikari stepped back, afraid of him for the first time; those eyes were far different then anyone else's. They had all the emotions she had locked up inside, and the anger that condemned his own soul, "Who are you…?" The question escaped from her mouth, unable to contain that fear.

His reply was short and simple, "I am…a murderer."

"No…"

"I am! Don't you know what I've done?"

"Yes, you've done good things to me, and to others." Kikari responded, wanting to encourage Soujirou's good nature.

"You're wrong. I've killed people. I'm the one who killed that man."

A slow and weak breath was drawn from her lips. Kikari paused to imagine the death she'd seen the night before. "No…you can't."

"I did." He assured without heart, "and I will do something more horrible if I don't find Himura-san." She cried softly, wavering to the floor with blinded strength. He looked down on her without a smile, "I must. And I do not wish for you to come with me."

"I don't understand!" she shouted, making him stop and wonder inconsiderably, "What is it that you want? Have you not sensed my fondness for you? Why don't you feel similar?"

"Perhaps you've overestimated. I'm sorry that I've confused you."

He steps were slow and trailing out the door, leaving the orphan girl more alone than she'd ever felt.

The moment of his dissent scarred Kikari with great consideration. She stared into the darkness, where he'd last sat undisturbed, and remember again, the reason for his departure. She watched the corner endlessly, through the light and dim, the corner remained shaded and unmoved. "But-…I _love_ you..."in a shy whisper, her words were said with her heart full of mixed emotions for Soujirou. But ill-fatedly, the lost boy had left her far away already, and on the next traverse to Kyoto.

* * *

"Aoshi-sama, look over there." Omasu pointed to the boy in the blue gi sitting in the far end, and watching the window with unblinking eyes and dullness. "He looks terrible…Should we talk to him? I don't think it was a good idea to let him know…Maybe it was better if he didn't. I wouldn't want to know about my past if I were him. Shishio must've been so cruel."

"Mind yourself."

She sighed with little anxiety, "I feel sorry for him…He looks so lonely. -Where's that girl that was with him?"

"Mind yourself."

"I can't help it, Aoshi-sama. I should go talk to him or at least-"

"Omasu-chan! It's best if you obey Aoshi-sama. Don't look into it so much. I'm sure he'll manage…and so will Himura-san."

Still solid and superior, Aoshi looked to Soujirou for the first time that day, unable to read his emotions, as battousai couldn't. He knew Soujirou heard every word of their conversation, despite the obstacle of noises around them. And he knew Soujirou felt gray eyes upon him, trying to find out his true nature. Soujirou let him none of it. It was reserved for Himura, his problem was all on that man named Himura.

Soujirou waned from his vision behind the crowd of people.

"All ready!" The uniformed man yelled, "All aboard! To Kyoto!"

"Yes." Aoshi said, "He will manage."

The train moved, slowly departing its place. Soujirou looked away from the glass and rested his head down, not wanting to see the pain he'd left behind. The look of pain on her face, the pain in her heart he'd seen. He felt guilty, but was willing to consume it for his answers, in trade of her pain. The image of her shattered look remained on his mind, and made the amnesic hurt.

It was a constant reminder.

For he'd seen her not too long ago.

In the mist of people, standing on the rocky ground, gaping into his eyes for forgiveness.

* * *

Aye…Sorry for taking so long…It's all my fault! And I didn't even write that much, ne? I'm sorry! I should slap myself! Sorry unexcused procrastinating girl! Darn me!

Thank you past reviewers for reviewing this pathetic gar-bage barely considered a "story".


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